Rape, Suppressed Memory, and the Hope of Forgiveness

“I wronged you in the past,” came the LinkedIn message notification on my phone. It was late on a Friday afternoon. I was at work, plowing through as much as I could before the weekend. I did not recognize the name on the message. Whoever it was, he wanted to apologize. For what? Who was… Continue reading Rape, Suppressed Memory, and the Hope of Forgiveness

Touch

How did I maintain equilibrium and a sense of peace and happiness through many years when some pretty basic things about my life were painful, unfulfilling, or difficult? High stress around a mentally ill, often homeless, mother. A rural life that did not align with my basic needs. Abstinence from the one thing that had… Continue reading Touch

“Why is My Life Like This?” Is the Wrong Question

Thinking too much about things. It’s a lifetime habit I have not yet entirely broken. Thinking has its place and I’m pretty good at it, truth be told. But as powerful as my brain happens to be, my heart is even better. When I seat my Self there, I am at my best. I can… Continue reading “Why is My Life Like This?” Is the Wrong Question

That Time When I Lost a Piece of Myself

In a recent email exchange with an old friend from grad school, 25-year-old Vanessa appeared, invited by his words. It was as if he added water to a freeze-dried me, and I reconstituted before my own eyes. There she was, that other, prior me. A young woman who had done one thing consistently since she… Continue reading That Time When I Lost a Piece of Myself

A Mother Thing

Did you ever think to yourself, “We all have one thing in common?” And the answer was: “Everyone has a mother.” Well, it’s not true. Of course, every human emerged from a vagina. Or out of a uterus, one way or another. But throughout human history, children and mothers have been torn apart. An enslaved… Continue reading A Mother Thing

100th Blogday—Reflections on a Blog’s Birth, Change, and the Optimism to Try Again

Spiralwoman.com was born sometime during the very early part of 2013. At that precise time, I was in a tunnel and the light was starting to show. I was ready to emerge. To write, live, forge ahead. Starting this blog was a huge affirmation of life and joy. I’m not altogether sure of the details… Continue reading 100th Blogday—Reflections on a Blog’s Birth, Change, and the Optimism to Try Again

Location, Location, Location—How A Place Can Call Your Name

Here I am back in Charlottesville. Again. Or should I say: againagain. It’s been nearly a year since I spent two weeks here. There was an unplanned extra week as I waited for my car’s new transmission to be installed, attended the gun control march in the wake of the Parkland shootings, and worked remotely… Continue reading Location, Location, Location—How A Place Can Call Your Name

I Don’t Know Why You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello

Last things often precede first things. The last night in a familiar home precedes the first night of a new life in a new place. The last oatmeal cookie precedes the first taste of a new cookie never imagined before. The last time ever I saw this place, comes just before the first time ever… Continue reading I Don’t Know Why You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello

Most People Are Good–My Cincinnati Airport Miracle

My plane from Charlotte NC had landed about fifteen minutes ago. I was back in Cincinnati where I’m staying for a few weeks. Pulling my little carry-on, I got to within 20 yards of the parking garage where I left my car 36 hours earlier when my brain exploded with the realization that I did… Continue reading Most People Are Good–My Cincinnati Airport Miracle

I Can See Clearly Now (Almost)

It started as a little swelling on my eyelid. A little pressure. I could ignore it, but should I? Life went on, but sometimes I would peer into the mirror, squinting to see better. What WAS that thing? Over the course of a week, it transformed daily—hourly—into increasingly offensive versions of a vision-occluding sty. Finding… Continue reading I Can See Clearly Now (Almost)